The Minutes of Andrew's Evening

A cross-section of the evening:

I spent 5 minutes talking to her and she asked to get a drink with me.

I spent 10 minutes talking to her and she started grinding up against me while dancing.

I spent 15 minutes talking to her and she assured me how good she looks naked.

I spent 20 minutes talking to her and she flashed me the strap of her thong.

I spent 25 minutes talking to her before we exchanged phone numbers.

I spent 30 minutes talking to her before she told me I was 4 years younger than her boyfriend.

I spent 30 minutes and 21 seconds before my hard-on fell into my sock.

38 minutes after we started talking some dude with abs and a v-neck t-shirt shows up and starts groping her ass on cue.

I waited 2 minutes after I got home to delete her number from my phone.

FUCKING BITCHES.