Monday, January 28, 2008

Why Andrew Doesn't Own a Gun

Some dick cheese side-swiped my car this morning before utterly destroying the car parked next to it. The theory is this failed abortion with a coat hanger still stuck in his forehead lost control of his car, skimmed alongside my driver's side before turning the second car into abstract art. This walking cum stain on the floor of a porno theater then took off leaving a trail of wreckage and two fucked cars in his wake. I can only hope that shortly after he hit my car he careened into a tanker truck transporting AIDS blood.

This all happened around 6:30 this morning. My house mates noticed police cars dealing with the totaled car next to me but failed to notice any damage on my car, which is a little under two years old and was fucking cherry. I didn't notice any damage myself when I got into the car to drive to work this morning but I certainly began to once I pulled away from the curb and I noticed my car was buckling out from underneath me and emitting a high-pitch squeal that sounded a little bit like Ned Beatty in Deliverance. I tried to drive to work on it assuming that the seemingly weeks of rain it had endured had made the breaks wet. No such luck. I drove it to my mechanic (fortunately a few blocks up the road), swerving out dangerously each time I hit a pimple in the road, where I was informed that my suspension and likely axles were damaged by what had clearly been a car accident (shows you the keen mechanical eye I've got).

So after causing me to bail on my second consecutive work day (the first because of the Ebola Virus or whatever the fuck has been making my joints sore, making me cough up small pieces of my lung, making me shiver uncontrollably and not to mention miss the rare party I actually had interest in attending) I spent the entire day waiting around in the waiting rooms of various mechanics, auto-bodies, and car rental places, on the phone with my insurance provider and hitching a ride in a tow truck. I'm left wondering when I'm going to get my car back while I'm stuck driving a hideous-looking boat from Enterprise. I loved that car and now it's been violated like a prom date.

In a perfect world I'd get twenty minutes alone with this cowardly sack of shit who ruined at least two people's day and cost likely tens of thousands of dollars worth of damage. In the words of Vincent Vega, it'd been worth him doing it just so I could've caught him doing it. People like this don't deserve to die but having their legs permanently immobilized doesn't strike me as at all distasteful or an over-reaction. Some people just need to be hobbled. I don't have much faith in the cracker-jack LA police department so once again, the innocent are fucked over.

Goddamnit, I hate days that make me want to be a Republican.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good day !.
might , perhaps very interested to know how one can collect a huge starting capital .
There is no need to invest much at first. You may begin earning with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you thought of all the time
AimTrust represents an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

Its head office is in Panama with structures around the world.
Do you want to become really rich in short time?
That`s your chance That`s what you desire!

I`m happy and lucky, I started to take up income with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. It`s all about how to select a proper companion utilizes your money in a right way - that`s it!.
I earn US$2,000 per day, and my first deposit was 1 grand only!
It`s easy to join , just click this link http://ekamosepi.envy.nu/vaqazeg.html
and lucky you`re! Let`s take our chance together to get rid of nastiness of the life

Anonymous said...

Good day, sun shines!
There have been times of hardship when I didn't know about opportunities of getting high yields on investments. I was a dump and downright pessimistic person.
I have never imagined that there weren't any need in large starting capital.
Nowadays, I feel good, I begin to get real income.
It gets down to choose a proper partner who uses your funds in a right way - that is incorporate it in real business, parts and divides the income with me.

You can get interested, if there are such firms? I have to answer the truth, YES, there are. Please get to know about one of them:
http://theblogmoney.com

Anonymous said...

Hi!
You may probably be very interested to know how one can manage to receive high yields on investments.
There is no initial capital needed.
You may begin earning with a sum that usually is spent
for daily food, that's 20-100 dollars.
I have been participating in one company's work for several years,
and I'm ready to let you know my secrets at my blog.

Please visit blog and send me private message to get the info.

P.S. I make 1000-2000 per daily now.

[url=http://theinvestblog.com] Online investment blog[/url]

Anonymous said...

Good day, sun shines!
There have were times of hardship when I didn't know about opportunities of getting high yields on investments. I was a dump and downright pessimistic person.
I have never imagined that there weren't any need in big initial investment.
Nowadays, I feel good, I begin to get real money.
It's all about how to select a proper companion who utilizes your funds in a right way - that is incorporate it in real deals, parts and divides the profit with me.

You may ask, if there are such firms? I'm obliged to tell the truth, YES, there are. Please get to know about one of them:
http://theinvestblog.com [url=http://theinvestblog.com]Online Investment Blog[/url]

Anonymous said...

Glad to materialize here. Good day or night everybody!

Sure, you’ve heard about me, because my fame is running in front of me,
friends call me Nikolas.
Generally I’m a venturesome gambler. all my life I’m carried away by online-casino and poker.
Not long time ago I started my own blog, where I describe my virtual adventures.
Probably, it will be interesting for you to find out how to win not loose.
Please visit my web page . http://allbestcasino.com I’ll be glad would you find time to leave your opinion.

Anonymous said...

Do You interesting of [b]Female use of Viagra[/b]? You can find below...
[size=10]>>>[url=http://listita.info/go.php?sid=1][b]Female use of Viagra[/b][/url]<<<[/size]

[URL=http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/link/buy%20viagra/1_valentine3.html][IMG]http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/img0/buy%20viagra/1_valentine3.png[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/link/buy%20viagra/3_headsex1.html][IMG]http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/img0/buy%20viagra/3_headsex1.png[/IMG][/URL]
[b]Bonus Policy[/b]
Order 3 or more products and get free Regular Airmail shipping!
Free Regular Airmail shipping for orders starting with $200.00!

Free insurance (guaranteed reshipment if delivery failed) for orders starting with $300.00!
[b]Description[/b]

Generic Viagra (sildenafil citrate; brand names include: Aphrodil / Edegra / Erasmo / Penegra / Revatio / Supra / Zwagra) is an effective treatment for erectile dysfunction regardless of the cause or duration of the problem or the age of the patient.
Sildenafil Citrate is the active ingredient used to treat erectile dysfunction (impotence) in men. It can help men who have erectile dysfunction get and sustain an erection when they are sexually excited.
Generic Viagra is manufactured in accordance with World Health Organization standards and guidelines (WHO-GMP). Also you can find on our sites.
Generic [url=http://viagra.opuskali.ru]Viagra Super Active[/url] is made with thorough reverse engineering for the sildenafil citrate molecule - a totally different process of making sildenafil and its reaction. That is why it takes effect in 15 minutes compared to other drugs which take 30-40 minutes to take effect.
[b]testimonials viagra
find viagra free online search
Viagra Taliban
100 mg viagra
Viagra For The Brain
Viagra Cheap Express
cialis comparison diflucan famciclovir viagra
[/b]
Even in the most sexually liberated and self-satisfied of nations, many people still yearn to burn more, to feel ready for bedding no matter what the clock says and to desire their partner of 23 years as much as they did when their love was brand new.
The market is saturated with books on how to revive a flagging libido or spice up monotonous sex, and sex therapists say “lack of desire” is one of the most common complaints they hear from patients, particularly women.

May Field Gun said...

YouTube contains not only comic and humorous video tutorials but also it carries learning related videos.
Mayfield Gun store